Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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