I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
