Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
