Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
