hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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