idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
