hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.