im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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