he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
