i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
