Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
