i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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