Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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