Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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