Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
