I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
