I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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