So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
