I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
