I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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