You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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