then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
