We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
