That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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