Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
