did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
