man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
