Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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