Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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