My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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