You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize