i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
