I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
