I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
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I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
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I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
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