I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
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Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
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tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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