i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
