i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
