Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
