why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
