no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize