then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
