My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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