Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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