Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
