check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
