My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The Olympian is in my bed
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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