1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
