And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
