White coat. Heels.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
