i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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