You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
