Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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