yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
