Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
