is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
