She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
