So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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