Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There's always time for handjobs
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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