everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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